Still Loving You
by myallconsuminglove
Summary: I wish that I could say that I wasn't one of those girls. Those girls whose entire world stops once she meets a guy. And maybe that's the thing, he wasn't just a guy. He was my soul mate, my twin flame, my person. He was everything. Was.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

**Owner of a lonely heart**

I wish that I could say that I wasn't one of those girls. Those girls whose entire world stops once she meets a guy. And maybe that's the thing, he wasn't just a guy. He was my soul mate, my twin flame, my person. He was everything. Was.

I still remember the first time that I saw him; it seems like it was just yesterday. But at the same time like it was centuries ago.

I practically relive that memory everyday in my head. The insistent goose bumps that formed starting at my feet all the way up. The way my hands suddenly turned clammy and unpleasantly damp to the point that I had to discreetly shake my hands behind me in the hopes that they would air dry. The abrupt gasp that left my mouth when I got a clear look at his indescribable eyes. I could tell you that they were blue, well more ocean blue like to be specific but that wouldn't do them justice. Nothing ever could.

* * *

***Summer of 1982, New York***

"Okay which one," I ask my BFF, Care, while holding up two shirts

The one on my right is an oversized black top that would actually match with the black stretch stirrup pants that I'm wearing though it might make me seem a bit Goth with all of the black I'm going to wear and on my left I have a tight fitting one shoulder t-shirt. Care obviously suggests the tight-fitting shirt and I don't blame her we are going to a bar. I quickly put on the rest of my accessories such as my black combat boots and one of my many big hoop earrings.

It's currently Friday night which means everyone is out and partying about especially since it's the first week of summer. Now usually during the school year I rarely go out since I'm always busy with school stuff and extracurricular activities minus the occasional outings during the weekend. So Caroline, my social butterfly of a best friend, is insisting that I accompany her to this bar tonight where we're suppose to meet up with some friends from school. If it were any other day I would whine and stomp my foot in resistance but I really need to get out before I drown in the cave that I've set myself in in my room.

It's not that I'm depressed or anything –though that may be questionable with my recent preference of a fictional life rather than real life. I swear I've been reading so many books lately and at this point it can't even be considered 'reading' no it's more like consumed. I've been so consumed by fictional worlds and fictional characters lately that I go to sleep reading and wake up reading. It's kind of scary really.

Of course my family hasn't noticed much or at all really. My father, Grayson Gilbert, is one of the best doctors in New York and if he isn't at the hospital which seems to be 24/7 then he's experimenting with his friends in his lab. Yes, his lab. And yes he and his friends wear lab coats and act all crazy scientists like. Honestly, I don't know what he does in there since I've only been there a few times and I don't really want to know since I remember that the last time I was there I was practically kicked out after walking into a room that I wasn't supposed to be in.

And my mom? Well she and my dad got divorced when I was around ten. I don't know the exact reason for why they got divorced; all I know is what I briefly remember from the night that she left. She kept screaming that she couldn't take it anymore and that he was never around so she was leaving. As you can probably tell my dad didn't listen to her since seven years later he's still the same man he was before. I occasionally see her whenever she comes to visit or I go and visit her, usually on the holidays. Honestly, I don't mind this at all. Sure I sometimes miss her and what entails of having the comfort of your mother but it's not like my mom is the cuddly, 'how are you, I really want to know' type.

I have a brother who is two years older than me and though we use to be much closer when we were younger I still love him to death. We look very similar appearance wise, with our chocolate brown eyes and brown hair. Now our similarities stop at appearance because we are nothing alike in our personalities or actions. Jeremy's kind of a stoner and he use to be much worse when he was in high school but after he met Anna, the love of his life basically, he doesn't get as high as much. Notice the 'as much'. There's only so much a guy can change I guess. But Jeremy's still a decent brother and he checks on me every once in a while since he moved out a couple of months ago to live with Anna when she got pregnant.

"Elenaaa are you done yet," Care shrieks from across the room since I'm in the bathroom adjusting my hair

I decided to leave it down and since I washed it a couple of hours ago now it's all frizzy and wild looking but I'm able to tame at least the front after tying a red bandana on the top of my head. It actually looks kind of cute.

"Gilbert, you look hot," Caroline compliments me once I join her back in my room

"Right back at you, babe," I giggle

She really does. Care is a tall, slim blonde and has these baby blue eyes that make all the guys at our school go crazy. She's also one of the happiest people I know; seriously I've never met anyone that's so positive and optimistic about life. Her mood is contagious and if it weren't for her I would probably be under the covers of my bed at the moment, reading like there's no tomorrow on a Friday night.

"Now are you sure that Mason Lockwood won't be there," I ask Care the same question for like the tenth time that night but I just really need to be sure that Mason won't be there or else I'm not going to the bar tonight

Mason Lockwood was a senior at my school this past year –I being a junior- and though we weren't anything serious I really didn't want to make the night awkward like I know it would be if I had to face Mason. Again we weren't anything special, just went on a couple of dates and fooled around a bit and I was his date to the last dance of the school year for the seniors. He was really attractive with his broad shoulders and pretty golden eyes but I wasn't feeling like we were making any progress and I just kind of gave up on him after I realized that I actually didn't even really like him. It took me weeks and several uncomfortable dates to realize that he was just a cocky douche and that we weren't really going anywhere.

You see I wanted that all consuming love and passion that I read in my novels and maybe just a tinge of danger to accompany it. I wanted to be loved, to feel loved and of course adventure. I wanted to look forward to the next day and I wanted to be happy, most of all happy.

"Yes," Care exclaims in her annoyed yet high-pitched voice, "I've already told you so around a hundred times tonight. Now take a chill pill, Elena, because tonight we are getting drunk and we're going to dance and possibly make out with the first cutest guy we can find"

I can feel myself lightning up and nodding along to her positive thoughts about what the night is going to entail when a flash of headlights interrupt us just as I'm locking up the house and putting the key inside my small bag.

"Oh, that's Tyler," Care states all excitedly as she skips down the last steps while pointing at the Mercedes that has stopped in front of my house. I cringe at the loud rock music that can be heard all the way from here despite the windows being up.

Tyler is actually Mason's cousin; however, he isn't the pompous ass like the other Lockwood. Care and I have known and been friends with Tyler since around freshman year and he's always around whenever we go out to parties and stuff, being our partner in crime.

We follow the rock music down my little sidewalk and in a blink of an eye I find myself situated in the back seat of Tyler's ride, music bleeding out of my ears, and cigar smoke filling the room since Tyler and his buddy are smokers. Care and I chat excitedly with Vicky and Lucy –some friends from school- until we arrive at a bar that I've never been to before.

The bar doesn't look all that exciting with its simple sign at the top of the building that says _Billy's_ and there aren't that many people on the outside, just a couple scattered around. However, as soon as we get out of the car the loud atmosphere surrounds us and I actually find myself bobbing my head up and down as a Bon Jovi song starts playing.

Believe it or not I actually really enjoy rock music. People usually assume that I prefer pop music over rock but really another passion of mine is rock music. You can usually find me every weekend at the record stores buying vinyl records and tape cassettes. I also enjoy making mixed tapes, their addicting.

We walk inside the bar quite easily, no one stopping us to ask for an id in fact no one even pays attention to us though that might be due to everyone here being intoxicated. I immediately cringe as the first whiff of cigars, alcohol, and something that cannot be legal enters my nostrils_. _Gosh I hadn't been in a bar or party for a while so I felt quite anxious as I took in the mood of the party. Caroline as if sensing my nervousness suggested that we go and get drinks first before seeing the band that was currently playing. I lingered behind my group of friends and let them do the ordering of drinks, grateful when Vicky handed me a drink and I instantly felt a calm settle over me after a couple of drinks of the fruity drink. It was delicious!  
We drank for a while more before joining the group of people that were crowded around the stage that was settled in the middle of the bar. The band that had been previously playing seemed to be taking a break; however, the music didn't stop and people continued to dance with drinks still in hand.

"To the best summer ever," Care shouted and we all agreed as we shouted 'to the best summer ever' followed by a raise of our drinks in agreement and just as I was about to drink from my plastic red cup I bumped into someone. Luckily I didn't spill any of the contents on the stranger though I could feel myself cringing when I realized that I had spilled more than half of the drink on the floor, nonetheless I turned around to apologize to the stranger and immediately felt myself freeze as I got a look at him.

The first thing I noticed was his cerulean blue eyes that were hidden by these amazingly long black eyelashes; I had never seen a man with such long eyelashes. And boy was this a man not the cute boys I was use to seeing from school, I had to force myself to blink as I took in his broad shoulders which were covered by a leather jacket. He was wearing black boots and black jeans with a white t-shirt yet the shirt contrasted so well with his pitch black hair.

He wasn't much taller than me, just a couple of inches, yet I found myself staring up at him as if he were the sun and I a civilian who despite being told not to stare at the sun directly couldn't help herself. Wow either the alcohol was making me feel all mushy or this guy wasn't human, he was like a Greek god, he was how I imagined the hot guys to look like in the books that I read.

"Woah you okay there, sweetheart," the blue-eyed stranger asks me and I instantly feel the blush spreading throughout my cheeks at his nickname

"What," I blurt out, surprised that he even noticed me, "I'm sorry I didn't see you, I was dancing and then I bumped into you and my drink spilled. I'm sorry if I spilled anything… I'm so-"

"It's okay, really," he interrupts me and I shut my mouth close when I realize that I was just rambling- something I tend to do when I'm nervous- in front of this very hot guy

"I'm Damon," he introduces himself as he sticks out his hand in my direction

I'm confused for a moment before I realize that he wants me to shake his hand, gosh what is wrong with me I ask myself as I too extend my hand and try not to let out a gasp when his hand envelops mine. I notice that his hands are so big and my small thin hand is easily covered by his as he shakes my hand for a couple of more seconds than what can be considered a normal handshake.

"El… Elena," I stutter out and I can tell that he's very amused with my response when he bites on his lower lip in a childish manner but there's this gleam in his eyes that just screams trouble

We're not able to say anything else because a guy who seems to be in his late twenties interrupts us when he approaches Damon and pats him on the back like they're long-time buddies. The new guy whispers for a couple of seconds something into Damon's ear and I feel myself taking a couple of steps back, all of a sudden feeling like an intruder. It's not like I can hear anything with the loud music but I do try to not stare at them though that fails when I feel myself making eye contact with Damon a few times. There's a look of indifference, like he's wearing a mask as he nods at the stranger in understanding before the stranger wanders off.

I can tell when the blue-eyed man re-settles his gaze back on me as I feel like his stare is burning me as he looks me up and down before a smirk settles on his face. My eyes widen considerably when I notice he walks closer towards me until I can practically feel his warmth radiating off towards me though that may be due to the lack of space since everyone is dancing so close to each other that I barely have any space to breath.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Elena," he half-shout's so that I can hear him and I freeze for the second time that night when he grabs my hand again and brings it up to his face as he sets a kiss on the top of it.

I barely have a moment to process what he just did and what he just said before he winks at me and walks in the opposite direction leaving me dumbstruck in the middle of the crowd.

I don't know how much time passes before Caroline and Vicky find me again. They sense my hesitance and ask me what's wrong but I tell them that I'm fine and as if to prove my point I steal Caroline's drink and down it in seconds flat. They of course cheer at this and I soon find myself in search of something else to drink.

I was already feeling quite buzzed a while after and I could tell that Caroline and my other friend Vicky were way worse than me as they started giggling when two guys approached us three.

They were both blondes –which wasn't really my type since I preferred guys with dark hair- but they both had pretty eyes, especially Nick who had these piercing green eyes but they weren't as pretty as my blue-eyed stranger from earlier. I had been hoping to run into Damon again but it seems that he disappeared or left after our little encounter. I could tell that Nick took an interest in me when he stood directly next to me after Vicky and Caroline started flirting with the other guy who I couldn't remember his name now.

Since the music was so loud we could barely exchange conversation but I did hear the part where Nick asked me to dance and I hesitantly accepted. He was a decent dancer and I was actually having fun until his hands suddenly started wandering into dangerous territory. It's not that I was a prude or anything because I had done things with guys before but I wasn't one of those girls who flirted with the first guy she saw and I definitely wasn't one of those girls who let guys grope her when they had just met not even an hour ago.

So when his hands settled way too low for my comfort I started panicking and told him that I needed some fresh air, he offered to accompany me but I quickly declined and told him that I would be right back. I managed to make it outside after a lot of pushing and shoving thankfully everyone was too drunk to get offended or notice.

I shivered at the coldness of the night as it hit me when I stepped outside and I immediately regretted not bringing a sweater; that's what I get when I listen to Caroline on what I should wear or not.

"Aghh," I groaned as I settled myself against the wall adjacent from _Billy's _

It must have been way past midnight since we arrived at the bar around ten and it certainly felt like we had been here for hours. I really wanted to go home now because I was feeling pretty dizzy and I knew no good decision would come when alcohol was involved. Unfortunately, I hadn't come here alone and my house was way too far away for me to try and walk the distance over there. It was a cold night despite it being summer and I was a young girl who couldn't even protect herself if she tried, so walking the New York street's alone at night definitely didn't sound like a good decision.

I would have to find my friends first –especially Caroline- and beg them to take me home, if I could persuade Caroline that we had to leave than she would certainly be able to convince Tyler who had always had a sweet spot for the blonde.

That's it. I was going to find Caroline and then we were going home, I decided as I rubbed my arms up and down one more time in the hopes of cooling down before starting my walk back towards _Billy's. _

My mission was stopped however when I opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my combat boots when I noticed a strange man who had to be in his late thirties staring at me. He wasn't much further from where I stood and I shuddered –not in a good way- when I noticed his tongue slip out of his mouth to lick his lips as he invaded my body with his eyes. Oh no. This was not good.

New York was haunted with criminals and psychos out of their mind. I had always heard stories similar to this, seventeen year old girl found dead in the street after being raped by multiple men. Some victims were even found dead with bite marks having died from blood loss. What if this guy turned out to be a cannibal as well?

The memory of my next door neighbor always warning me to be careful every time I went out at night invaded my thoughts and I now felt so stupid for not listening.

"Now what's a pretty girl like you doing out here, all alone?" the man asked me yet he didn't even make eye contact with me, no he was too busy staring at my chest.

As if on instinct I raised my arms and settled them on my chest, I also turned more to the side in the hopes that this would cover me up more. The man of course chuckled at this and I started shaking like a leaf when his feet walked him towards me as he settled himself a couple of inches from me and raised his hand to run through my hair.

"Don't touch me," I cringed in disgust not wanting his hands to touch me or to even be breathing the same air as him

I noticed that his eyes were bloodshot red no doubt from the drugs that he had probably been doing earlier and his breath stunk; it's like he had decided to eat an onion for breakfast this morning and on the side had a glass of whiskey. Okay my imagination was running wild, blame it on the writer in me but I just really wanted to go home and hide myself under my bedcovers-where I felt safe- and never get out.

What would happen if this man killed me? Would anyone even miss me? No doubt my father wouldn't care. He'd be too busy with his labs and medical stuff to care and my mom would probably find out that I had died months later when she felt that enough time had passed since we had last talked and wanted to know if I was going to visit for the holidays or not. I'd like to think that Jeremy would miss me since I'm his only family left. And Caroline… Caroline would probably have a break down.

I stopped my scary thoughts when I realized that I had to fight harder and so with that I did something very unlike me. I practically growled 'don't touch me' before shoving the stranger. I had thought that this would actually make a difference, that the guy would step down and apologize for his actions but no he just laughed out loud throwing his head back before re-settling his gaze back on me.

"You heard her," I heard someone growl and my eyes popped out of their sockets when I looked up to see who was my savior and I discovered that it was Damon.

Damon was here! And by the looks of it he looked rather pissed with his fists clenched at his side and his blue eyes as dark as a storm as he glared at the stranger. I instantly felt joy and hope filling me up but the hope dwindled down a bit when the stranger only rolled his eyes and muttered 'mind your own business' towards Damon's direction before settling his hands on my neck. He continued caressing my neck and I closed my eyes in panic for a second before opening them again when I sensed that the hands that had been on my neck previously were no longer there.

I looked around confused when there was no one in sight. The vile man was no longer in front of me and even Damon had disappeared or so I thought until I heard a scream that did not sound good. In fact it sounded like the man was in pain and he was about to die before the scream became muffled and only low grunts of pain could be heard.

I walked towards the alley from where the sound could be heard and felt my heart stop at the sight in front of me. I knew it was Damon who was attacking the man despite not being able to see his face but no one could mistake that unruly black hair and leather jacket. I noticed the man looked rather pale, his eyes no longer open and to my horror Damon was attached at the man's neck. What the hell?!  
"D…da..damon," I whimpered no longer curious

Damon seemed to have become aware of my presence because he stopped doing whatever he was doing on the man's neck as his head stopped bobbing to the side. He seemed hesitant at first and almost as if he made a silent decision his tense shoulders dropped and slowly turned around to face me having no other option.

Without thinking I let out a shriek which caused Damon to move towards me except he reached me in a second flat which couldn't be possible because I didn't even see his legs make the first step before he was in front of me almost as if he had glided towards me. I felt a tear leak out involuntarily out of my left eye and I felt ten times more scared than I had been minutes prior when the man was attacking me as I caught sight of Damon. He had blood dripping down his chin and I frowned at the sight of blood covering his white t-shirt, well now it wasn't so white, it looked like someone had decided to color random spots on his shirt with red paint. Except it wasn't paint. It was blood.

I took two steps back when I took notice of what seemed to be fangs popping out of his mouth and as if Damon noticed my observance he … he retracted them!? Oh god I had to be seeing things, this couldn't be real. Damon… Damon looked liked a… a vampire. Which was completely hysterical because come on a vampire? The supernatural weren't real. And vampires certainly didn't exist. This had to be some sort of joke, a really cruel joke.

However, I felt doubt rising more and more in me as I kept taking him in, unable to take my eyes off of his face. He had these… these veins around his eyes and his eyes had been bloodshot but not like the guy who had been attacking me moments before.

THE GUY! I sneaked a peek past Damon's shoulder and to my horror the guy was lying on the floor… dead

The guy was dead! And Damon had killed him! Oh god. I had thought he was my savior and maybe he did save me from the now dead stranger but now who was going to save me from Damon?

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," Damon whispered yet I found his words hard to believe when someone else's blood was dripping down his face and he still seemed rather mad. Almost like he was mad that I had found out… found out about what, I'm not sure, I had no idea what was happening right now.

Damon hesitantly outstretched his hand towards me and I felt myself shaking in panic when he grabbed my chin, forcing me to make eye contact with him. I flinched at the hardness his eyes showed but I reluctantly let him grip my face too afraid that I'd do something that would set him off and make him even more mad

"What you just saw," Damon started out slowly as he kept his eyes locked with mine, I tried to look away but I couldn't, I was trapped, "you tell no one. Do you understand me?"

And to my horror I nodded my head in agreement and unwillingly repeated what he had just asked of me. What was I doing? My mind was telling me no yet my body had opened up its mouth and now I had agreed to not tell anyone. It's like he had hypnotized me or something. Had he set a spell over me? If he was what I thought he was than what's to say that magic didn't exist?

The blue-eyed man seemed pleased with my answer because he let out a small smile and proceeded to pet my hair almost gently and as if he suddenly realized what he was just doing he dropped his hand back to his side but just as he was about to open his mouth I blacked out.

* * *

***end of flashback***

It took me weeks to find out what he had done to me that prevented me from telling anyone who Damon was or in better words what he **was**. He had compelled me. Basically vampires have this supernatural ability called mind compulsion where they can control their victim's minds and make them do whatever they want as long as they're making eye contact. I later learned that vampires also had other special abilities, for example the ability to hear from a distance, they also have super strength and speed. They can even control your dreams but one ability that they have that I've always been interested in was their ability to control their emotions. Damon always called it the ability to turn off your humanity, basically a vampire could dull feelings such as guilt, fear, depression and be a walking zombie having no remorse because really they didn't feel anything. However, he always explained to me that eventually the switch would just flip back on and really it was just pointless trying to turn your humanity off.

He's always told me that when he first met me his humanity was off; that it had been off for several years until one day he realized that it wasn't. He was in no way humane or human after that, he was after all a serial killer who showed no pity to his victims but I always thought that there was good in him, that there was a light in him.

Of course that's what he used to describe me. He called me his light in the darkness that was his life.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear the unmistakable sound of an engine running and as if to confirm my guess a pair of headlights almost blind me as the car stops hastily a couple of feet from me. Finally, someone's here.

A man who seems to be in his early twenties gets out of his car and I feel myself grinning at how exhilarating and easy all of this is. I thought I was going to have to wait hours in the middle of nowhere staring up at the sky from my position on the floor.

"Mam, are you okay?" The stranger asks me and I can feel his confusion as he stares at me in puzzlement

I don't blame him really. I probably look like a psycho, lying in the middle of the road in complete and utter darkness.

"Yes," I answer

"Do… Do you need a ride? Are you lost? Are you sure you're okay," the man fires his questions at me and I can quickly feel irritation spreading throughout me due to his questions. They're not supposed to be this nice or this gullible really.

"Actually, no I'm not okay… But I am really hungry," I growl and before the stranger can even really process what I just said I launch myself at his neck

* * *

**A/N: Wow! It's been so long since I've posted anything on fanfiction. **

**You probably have a lot of questions right now but I hope you guys give this story a chance and stay to find out the answers to those questions. **

**Please REVIEW/FAVORITE/FOLLOW and let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Another one bites the dust **

* * *

"More coffee," the young waitress asks me as she gestures to the pot full of coffee in her hand

I look up at her startled, still lost in thought and I know that I look like I belong in a mental ward when she avoids my blank stare. What did she ask me? Something about coffee? I slowly lean forward to look at my now empty coffee cup and nod for more coffee without making eye contact with the girl. She looks to be about sixteen or seventeen and I can't help but compare her to myself when I was around her age.

She hold's the same, naïve expression I used to walk around with.

I silently thank the girl after she re-fills my cup and I still can't help but shiver as the steaming black liquid slides down my throat. I used to always prefer my coffee with two creams and two sugars but now it seems way too sweet and this bittersweet taste is much more accurate to my recent moods. Plus **he **always took his coffee black.

"Elena?"

What is it with people interrupting me today? I immediately regret my thoughts though when I find myself staring into these baby blue eyes. The whole purpose of why I'm visiting this shithole of a town called Mystic Falls.

"Caroline," I whisper while trying to contain my excitement at seeing her after so many years

"You… you haven't aged one bit," she states hesitantly yet she makes no move to sit down on the seat across from mine

I consider a cheeky response, like 'oh but you have' but I really don't want to offend her; I'm lucky she even agreed to meet up with me here. The old Caroline would have giggled right along with me at that retort but I don't know this Caroline. It's sad really because at one point in our lives we knew absolutely everything about each other and then after I met Damon the secrets slowly started forming between us until one morning she decided she was tired of fighting those walls I had put up between us. I always denied the distance that had grown between us but looking at the past now, from this perspective, she was right. Damon had driven a wedge between us and though it was unintentionally, I practically abandoned her. It's not like I had much of an option though. I remember I was hesitant at first and with reason. He was this monster who could snap my neck in a second without blinking yet the more I learned about him the more I wanted to get closer to him. Instead of running in the opposite direction when he told me what he was and what he had done, what he still did I ran towards him. Because once you got a taste of him, of Damon, one taste wasn't enough.

"I know what you're thinking. The years haven't been so good to me, but come on, I still have fabulous hair," she jokingly flips her hair to the side and I find myself genuinely laughing along with her for what feels like ages. However, Caroline couldn't be more wrong; the years have been wonderful to her. She's a bit taller than I remember her to be and she seems to have grown fuller, where before she was a bit too slim. I find myself picturing what I would have looked like had I aged along with her, where would I be right now? I wonder if she decided to continue her dream of fashion or if she found her dream man and now has the white picket fence with kids.

"How long has it been," her expression suddenly changes from excited to serious as she finally joins me on the table

"Around nineteen years," I answer her still not believing that so many years have passed since I've seen my family.

Nineteen years of a very lonely life, that's for sure.

Caroline is opening her mouth and closing it like a fish out of water and under any other situation I would laugh at the comical sight but I totally understand her reaction. It doesn't feel like it's been that long yet those lonely nights filled with pain and tears would beg to differ.

"What happened to you?" she finally asks me and I want to laugh out loud at her question. And trust me it wouldn't be one of those good laughs, those laughs filled with joy no it would be a laugh filled with bitterness

Luckily I don't have to answer her because the waitress comes again and asks us if we would like anything else to drink or eat.

_What happened to me? _

I can't stop my thoughts from traveling back nineteen years and to that summer, the morning after I met Damon and fainted in his arms. Caroline actually asked me a very similar question to that the morning after I returned.

* * *

***flashback***

The first thing I notice when I come to my senses is that I'm laying on a very uncomfortable mattress, seriously it's worse than the couch in my living room and that's saying something!

The second thing I take notice of once I open my eyes is that I'm staring at a very strange ceiling; I've never seen this ceiling before. What the hell? Where am I?

I'm definitely not in my room and I'm pretty sure that I didn't sleep over at Caroline's last night, so where am I? God, did I go home with someone else last night?

I hesitantly lift the warm blanket from my body and stand up on the bed; I instantly regret this motion because as soon as I move a wave of nausea hits me and like a snap of the fingers memories from last night flood my mind. Memories of me and the gang drinking and dancing until I bumped into the blue-eyed stranger, than me dancing with a guy with green eyes who got a bit too handsy for my taste, and then that drunk who tried to feel me up until that blue-eyed stranger came and saved me. Damon. And as soon as the name registers in my mind the image of Damon with his… fangs and blood dripping down his chin comes to mind.

What is he?

And where am I?

Questions start forming in my head and I almost wish I hadn't woken up this morning. Is it even morning? I have no idea but judging by the small light shining across the curtains in the small window adjacent from the bed it must be more than ten. Okay, so what's the last thing I remember I ask myself.

I was last with Damon before… before I passed out. Oh god I passed out! What if he did something to me while I was unconscious? No he couldn't have. Would he have bit me like he did that vile man? I look down at my clothes and I'm relieved to see that I'm still wearing my clothes from last night.

Oh, I need to leave. NOW.

I ignore the small creak the bed makes at my movements and quickly retrieve my boots in the corner of the room sitting next to the door.

Okay I can do this, I whisper small words of encouragement to myself, I'm going to leave this place and then I'm going to look for the nearest payphone and call Caroline, if she doesn't answer than I'll just walk home. I consider calling a taxi but I don't have enough money on me to pay for one and I'm pretty sure that wherever I am is not close to my house. Hopefully my dad didn't check up on me last night or this morning, maybe he'll just think that I slept over Caroline's and forgot to tell him.

I manage to open the door without making too much noise and I'm also able to find the staircase that hopefully leads to the exit. I'm instantly surprised to see that the stairs lead to _Billy's. _Huh. Maybe Damon just left me here last night after I passed out. No, he wouldn't do that, he's a monster my subconscious reminds me.

_Billy's _actually looks so different now compared to last night, it looks so empty. Yeah sure there doesn't seem to be a soul here at the moment but last night not only did the people here make this place seem so lively but the environment felt great with the music vibrating through every wall and everyone with a smile on their face. Now the place is half dark and it looks like someone was cleaning the place and like they gave up judging by some of the chairs and bottles still scattered around half of the room.

"Where are you going, little birdie?" someone whispers at the back of my neck and I know that once I turn around to face this stranger, the stranger is going to literally be inches from my face

"I… I ," I stutter with my words and slowly turn around to face my intruder and I'm surprised to see that it's the guy Damon was talking to last night before he left the first time that we met.

"You must be the girl who Damon brought in last night," he states the obvious while looking me up and down and I shudder at the way his eyes linger, he must notice because he continues speaking, "Damon's not here at the moment but he told me to tell you not to leave in case you woke up before he returned"

"I… I need to leave," I inform him in what I hope is a strong voice

"Oh, oh Damon is going to be pissed once he finds out that I let you go," he seems to warn me and I immediately feel myself shutting down thinking that this guy is going to keep me here but he continues after a moment's thought, " Than again I really do enjoy pissing him off"

"Wh-what," I ask him

He's letting me go?

"Goodbye, little bird!" he clarifies before turning around to head where a mess of cups and bottles lie in a corner, "I'm sure I'll see you again"

And those are the last words that I need to hear before I bolt out of that bar

"Not likely," I mutter to myself once I'm outside and smelling the cold morning air of New York City.

Luckily, there's a payphone a few streets down and Caroline agrees to come pick me up and reassures me that she'll be here in thirty minutes and not to move.

And that's how I find myself forty minutes later sitting in the backseat of Ty's car with Caroline pestering me about what happened last night. I swear she started bombarding me with questions as soon as I opened the car door!

I start from the beginning, really needing to tell someone and ignore Tyler's curious glances at my direction. It's not like it matters, I'm never going to return to that bar nor am I ever going to see Damon.

I'm about to tell Caroline the part where Damon attacked the guy when I suddenly feel myself getting tongue-tied. What the hell? I had managed to tell her everything that happened last night and just as I'm about to finish I literally cannot get the words out of my mouth. And though a part of me wants to deny it, a big part of me knows that the reason for why I can't tell Caroline what Damon is has to do with what Damon told me last night. It's like he told my mind that I couldn't tell anybody else what he was and my mind has no choice but to listen to him.

"Elena? Why did you stop? What did the guy do," she questions me, concern written all over her face as she stares at me before looking over at Tyler worriedly

"No-nothing, Damon, he, he scared him off and I was so drunk that I couldn't form a coherent thought and he let me stay in one of their rooms," I lie

Caroline actually seems to be disappointed by my response and I have no doubt that she was hoping for a dramatic night. Oh Caroline, if only you knew.

***end of flashback***

"You're the one that called me, remember?" I remind her and I hope I don't sound too bitchy

"Yeah, I guess I did," she silently agrees and than almost as if she realizes that she spoke out loud, she further explains herself, "Believe it or not I actually did wake up one day and decide to pick up the phone and call you. I had still kept the card that you last sent to me with your phone number written on it and I was hoping that you hadn't changed your number since then. Luckily, you didn't. "

I smile at the memory of the letter that she's talking about. It took me days to finally send the letter after I had written it; I'm surprised she even read it really.

"So Virginia, huh?" I try to change the conversation despite the fact that I'm still not sure why she called me because I might not know this Caroline very well but I do know that she wouldn't just randomly call me

"I really missed my best friend and I thought I was finally ready to hear what really happened, the truth," she reads my mind but then lightens up things by adding, "Yeah, Virginia. It's no New York City but it's what I needed at the moment and hey I met the love of my life in this small town"

I feel my walls going up at that last statement. And although I'm happy, extremely happy for Caroline I can't help but feel jealous that she still has the love of her life with her.

"Hey, you want to get out of here," she asks me after a couple of seconds of silence

I have the word 'I can't' on the tip of my tongue yet I find myself saying yes.

I pay for the cup of coffee I had had earlier and soon we're heading out of the small coffee shop and walking the streets of the small town.

Caroline doesn't really know much about Damon or what he was; she found out on that terrible night and then left before I could have a chance to explain.

And although Care and Damon did meet and have several confrontations that summer that we dated there was always a wall between them. The only reason they tolerated each other was because they both knew how much they both meant to me.

"So tell me about this guy," I try to make conversation

It's around mid-afternoon and though the sun is still shining I can't help but smile at the small drift of wind facing us.

I was born and raised in the city so I'm not very used to small towns but even I have to admit that this small town has a beautiful side to it. There aren't that many people here and I certainly have to be much more careful when feeding on people just in case anyone does decide to get suspicious.

Just last night I had to give the guy I fed on some of my blood because I had taken a bit too much since I was distracted by my nostalgic feelings.

"His name is Klaus and he's British. I know," Caroline giggles at my surprised expression, we always had a thing for guys with British accents," we got married about four years ago and we've been living together ever since. We've uhh… actually been trying to get pregnant but we've had no luck" I feel sorrow for Caroline, since she was a little girl she's always wanted to have kids; she would even plan it out with her dolls and playhouse.

"How did a British guy end up in such a small town," I ask her, curious for more

"Oh he was on a business trip and boy did I hate him at first. He was such an arrogant pompous ass," I can feel that familiar feeling passing through Caroline's eyes as she recalls her first time meeting with Klaus

"He did have a great ass though," she adds and we giggle

I can actually relate to Caroline's description of how she first hated Klaus because even though I thought I hated Damon –the ass who is a control freak- once I got to know him I knew that he was just a lonely soul hiding behind that badass, I don't care about anything façade.

* * *

***flashback***

"ELENA"

"YES, DAD?" I yell back as I finish putting on my other earring

I can do this.

I need to do this if not I'm going to go mad.

I look at my appearance once more on the mirror that hangs behind my bathroom door before deciding that I look appropriate enough. Not too slutty to attract unwanted attention and not too conservative that I look like a nun. I can tell that my dad is irritated with me since I didn't walk towards him immediately when he called me from downstairs but the sooner I get out that door the sooner I get over this.

I meet my dad downstairs who's staring at the almost empty fridge; I'm surprised he's even home right now.

"You going out," he questions me as soon as he notices that I'm not in my usual comfy pajamas

"Yeah," I vaguely answer

"On a weekday" Okay now he's being crazy. Since when does he even care?

"It's summer," I remind him as I try not to roll my eyes at him

"Okay… well don't have too much fun" I almost feel bad for him as he inspects the frozen lasagna trying to decide whether it's old or not

"Get takeout, daddy, that stuff is rotten," I half-shout just as I'm out the door

I considered going alone but at the end decided against it considering the circumstances. First of all, I don't have a ride and yeah I could always take a taxi but it's so hard to find one around my neighborhood and especially at this time of night. Plus what if I couldn't even find Damon again? What if he wasn't there anymore? At least than I'd have the option of staying with my friends.

It had been almost a week since I last met Damon and since then my mind has been in turmoil. The day after I got back I told myself that I would never return to that bar and I kept repeating this mantra until I started having dreams about him the next night. Dreams of swimming in his ocean blue eyes which were very sweet until the dreams turned into nightmares in which blood was now dripping down his beautiful mouth and his eyes were bloodshot as he chased after me until he finally got me and ripped my neck out. And yeah you must be asking yourself than what the hell is she doing now going after him when she's having nightmares about him? Well you see the fact that I'm having dreams and that I can't get him out of my head or speak about what he is** is** what's making me go look for him at that stupid bar.

I need to know. Know what I'm not sure. Nor do I know what I'm going to say when I see him, if I see him that is. But the curiosity is killing me and I figured that if he was going to kill me he had already had his chance, multiple chances actually. And that is what kept me sane as I closed my eyes while only half-listening to the conversation Caroline was having with Vicky and Tyler. It didn't take much to convince Care about going to _Billy's _again this week after all despite my disappearance at the last minute we did have a great night filled with drinking, dancing and laughter.

Before I know it we're parking in front of the small bar and I'm soon surrounded by the wild atmosphere _Billy's _seems to hold.

"Now you better not disappear on us again, Elena," Vicky teases me and I stick my tongue out at her not making any promises.

I earlier decided that I would leave and go search for Damon once the group seemed to be pretty intoxicated to even notice that I'm gone and of course I wasn't going to be drunk off my ass like last time which is why I've only drank one drink all night. A different band is playing from last time and I find myself dancing along to the music while keeping or well trying to keep a sharp eye out for a certain dark haired boy. It's been more than an hour and so far I haven't seen him though I have jumped out of my tights whenever I've seen guys with leather jackets or pitch black hair pass me. I haven't even seen that guy, the one who teased me endlessly that morning about seeing me later again. Oh the irony; he was so right.

I tell my friends that I'm going to the bathroom and just as I'm about to turn the corner for the public bathroom I notice the stairs from which I came down from last week. Shit. What if he's upstairs?

What if he's off killing someone else in another alley my subconscious hisses at me but I ignore her as I hesitantly go up the stairs. I'm actually surprised to see that no one is up wandering around up here though I don't blame them; it is dark up here after all.

I instantly start to regret my rash decision as I follow the small light the windows are providing down the narrow hallway until I hear what sounds like… groaning?

As soon as I catch sight of the source of the noise I bite my tongue so that no noise comes out. I know it's him even though I'm facing his back but that leather jacket would be recognizable anywhere. I feel a sense of déjà vu pass over me because Damon is once again feeding on someone else. A girl to be specific. And yeah I admit the dirty blonde girl seems pretty slutty with her short dress that seems to barely reach her ass but I'm sure that she wasn't expecting to die tonight under a monsters hands. Or should I say fangs?

I'm about to protest in the innocents girl's defense when I realize that she's not groaning in pain but rather in pleasure. What the hell? Why is she moaning? Shouldn't she be screaming right now out of fear?

Okay this is not like that night where than man was begging for mercy.

The more that I think about this the more stupid my plan appears and I decide that I need to get out of here. Now.

Unfortunately, I've never been the stealthiest person and I find myself tripping over my own feet. This seems to alert the couple because the noises stop and I'm suddenly afraid to look up.

"Elena" Damon rolls my name on his tongue and I find myself feeling giddy. He remembers my name!

Of course, he does you idiot! You passed out on him!  
"Elena," Damon repeats my name with a hint of irritation now and I feel that I have no choice but to look up at him

His blue eyes are filled with surprise and wonder. And he's unknowingly licking his fangs; I shudder as I see some of the blood get wiped off from his pearly whites

"Is this going to become a thing now," he questions me while raising his eyebrows and I find myself confused by his question. What does he mean?

"You sneaking up on me every time I'm feeding," he clarifies yet he pays no attention to the girl behind him who has a glazed look over her green eyes

I find myself getting mad over his question yet I have no idea why I'm mad exactly. His audacity! What an ass!

Empowered by my sudden anger I get up from the floor from where I fell not seconds ago and huff as I turn around to go back and find my friends and get the hell out of this damned place.

I'm actually surprised to feel a tinge of disappointment surge through me when I realize that he's not going to go after me until just as I'm about to take my first step towards the stairs he grabs my elbow.

"Let go of me," I hiss

"Hey! You were the one looking for me," he retorts and I find my knees weakening at the gleam his eyes show no doubt due to his amusement with me

He finds this funny!

"I was not," I immediately deny

The girl he was feeding on earlier appears out of nowhere behind Damon before muttering excuse me as she passes us with a confused expression and joins the crowd downstairs. Is she okay? I find myself worrying about her well-being before remembering that the reason for why she was in danger is right in front of me

She had this glazed look over her face. Did he set a spell over her too? So now she won't be able to tell anyone else about this monster as well?

"I didn't think I would ever see you again, not after the way you bolted last week or at least that's what Will tells me" he's now smirking and I find myself getting irritated at the fact that he's clearly amused at the current situation

"Did you set a spell over her too, like you did to me?" I know I've startled him with my question when his eyes widen and his smirk is finally wiped off his face though I'm definitely not expecting the laughter that comes out of his mouth

"A spell? What do you think I'm a witch or something?" he continue to laugh and as if he realizes that he's being immature he stops

"It's called compulsion," he finally breaks the silence

"Wh-hat?"

"Compulsion. It's an ability that vampires posses. The ability to control a humans mind," he explains and I find myself feeling dizzy as I process his words

Now I obviously knew that he wasn't human but to hear him imply that he's not human and that he's a vampire just makes me nauseous

Okay now I'm the one cracking up.

"What are you laughing on about," he snarls and I instantly feel myself freeze up at his dangerous expression. For a moment there I had actually forgotten that he was a monster

"I could snap your neck in any second," he threatens but doesn't move from his spot which just so happens to be a couple of feet from me though I'm sure distance wouldn't stop him.

I consider giving him a witty remark but decide against it as the memory of the dead man flashes through my mind. Yup, better not piss him off.

"I'm sorry. It's just vampires? You've got to be kidding me," I try to apologize for my previous laughter

"You've seen me feed; in fact you've seen me kill. And I'm sure that as soon as you got out of here that morning last week you tried to tell someone about me but you couldn't, huh? That's right, Elena, that's because I compelled you not to tell a soul. And I bet you're just dying to tell someone but you can't and you never will," he says," I bet you even dream about me"

I shake my head in denial but I know that my eyes betray me as I feel fear creeping up on me. He can control dreams too?

I'm at a loss for words and I can bet that Damon is feeling pretty smug now at my gaping expression.

"Wh-hyy?" I manage to ask

"I find you interesting, Elena. You're beautiful, smart, and seem like any other next-door girl," I hate to admit but I was actually blushing at his complements until that last one. He thinks I'm beautiful? Maybe it's the fact that guys usually use words such as hot and cute not beautiful that make this feel different.

"But then you hold this childish curiosity, your need to know everything it interests me," he runs his hands through his dark hair," and you didn't run screaming for the hills in fact you came looking for me today"

"Why did you come here, Elena," he asks me after a moment of silence between us

We're still in the dark hallway and I'm just hoping someone happens to stumble up here

"I-I don't know," I stumble with my words, "I guess I had to know what you really were"

Damon's eyes seem to darken at my response, "And has your curiosity been satisfied, Elena" Goosebumps form on my arms at the way he says my name, "have you finally figured out that I'm a monster" Wait… what? I can't deny that I'm surprised that he's calling himself a monster.

"Why don't you join me for a drink" by the tone of his voice I know that he's not asking but demanding and so I have no choice but to follow after him down the stairs and through the throng of people to the front of the bar

"I really have to go," I state as he hands me a drink that I have no intention of even tasting, "I have to find my friends"

"Your friends, Elena? Your friends left already," that dangerous glint is back in his eyes

What? My friends wouldn't leave me here, not again. He has to be teasing me!  
"You're lying," I bravely accuse him

"Maybe. Maybe I'm not but why don't you stay and have one drink with me and then I'll let you go search for your friends," he says before taking a slow sip of what seems to be bourbon

"Okay. One drink." I agree and a big part of me is asking me what the hell am I doing? Did he compel me again into staying? I don't know, yet a very very small part of me is telling me that I wanted to stay all along.

* * *

**A/N: Welcome back! So Damon saved Elena last chapter and it seems like he really wants her to stay around for now. Also, Caroline and Elena were reunited in the present and we'll be finding out what happened between them a bit more the next chapter. **

**A lot of people asked me if Damon is still alive and because I don't want to answer that I'll just leave you guys by saying that I'm a total sucker for happy endings ;)**

**Anywaysss, PLEASE review/follow/favorite and let me know what you think- whether you like the story so far or if you absolutely hate it. **

**Have a great week guys and don't forget to leave me a comment with your thoughts! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Maneater**

* * *

"So how does this whole vampire thing work," Caroline tries to ask me in nonchalance but I know better

It has been almost a week since I arrived in Mystic Falls and to be honest the most productive thing I'd done yet was get dressed and meet Caroline in the small coffee shop I first saw her in days ago.

"What do you mean," I ask the blonde before taking a sip of my mocha

"The feeding…. The what was it that you called it? Compulsion?" Caroline waves her hand and I try to stifle my laugh

"Well I function pretty normally as long as I have blood in my system every three days and I usually compel my-"I stop my explanation; what should I call them? My victims? "The people I feed on beforehand so that they don't feel any pain"

"And you can eat whatever you want?" Oh boy this 'interrogation' is going to be long

I don't give her a verbal response but rather show her by sucking from my drink's straw rather obnoxiously. This of course causes us both to giggle.

"Okay I can tell you're getting annoyed but one more question, pleaseee" I roll my eyes at her begging, no doubt that she probably wrote a list of questions to ask me too.

"Okay," I concede rather dramatically

"How does it feel," she asks

How does what feel?

"The what," I ask as I sit up straight on my seat

Good thing Care went into fashion and not journalism or something that requires asking questions; she would suck at that with her vague questions that only seem obvious to her.

"Feeding on people," she clarifies

Oh.

Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

And the reason I wasn't expecting that was because as soon as the words leave her mouth my mind is transformed into the memory of me asking a certain blue-eyed vampire a very similar question.

* * *

***flashback***

"Aghh how much more are you going to eat," I tease

Will of course doesn't answer since he's too busy swallowing his food down

"And you too," I throw a French fry at the blue-eyed boy sitting right next to me

We're currently at _Billy's_ and the bar is supposed to open in a couple of minutes yet we've made no move to get up from our comfy stools. It's been a little over a week since I last came looking for Damon and he offered me a drink. As promised I stayed with him for that one drink which led to another and I admit one more before I finally put my foot down and informed him that I was going to look for my friends. Luckily Damon had been lying when he told me that they left because I found them in the same spot of the dance floor that I had left them in, we left shortly after that. And the next morning I woke up with the intention of never returning to that bar or any bars for that matter before Caroline called me complaining that she had left her purse in the bar and that I _needed _to accompany her so that she could get it. I agreed with much reluctance but not before chastising her for even bringing her purse to the bar!

And so I went with her that day even though I knew we weren't going to find her purse and we didn't which of course led to Caroline saying that she needed a pity drink and soon enough I found myself having to babysit a half-buzzed blonde to make sure that she didn't go home with anyone else. While she was in the bathroom I had a run-in with Damon though I suspect it wasn't much of an accident on his part

The bastard couldn't contain his smirk!

He wanted me to join him for a drink –again- for which I denied but much to my surprise I found myself explaining my baby-sitting situation when a sincere frown formed on his face due to my rejection.

He reluctantly let me go but not before telling me that I should come tomorrow without the blonde because an amazing band was going to be playing. And he practically knocked the air out of me when he gently grabbed my hand and laid a kiss on it while maintaining eye contact with me. Talk about déjà vu from the first time I met him!

I spent the day after that in my pajamas while reading books and just when the clock hit nine I jumped out of my bed and put on some jeans before calling a taxi to come and pick me up. I could always ask my dad for the keys to his car but I didn't want to disturb him or give him a reason to ask more questions. And so I spent that night listening to the band with him , which was actually really good.

And that's how the days continued after that, each night we would make up an excuse for why I should come to the bar again. I had been coming almost every single night this week.

Today I had decided to come a bit earlier after not being able to properly continue my reading since my thoughts were revolving around a certain vampire.

I know. I sound crazy.

Hanging out with a vampire every night this week. But to be honest I forget he's a vampire most of the time, he just seems so normal, you definitely wouldn't see it coming.

"Hey, you ate all of my pickles," Damon retorts as he picks the French fries off my plate

See he can be so normal at times!

"I did not," I gasp in mock horror

Turns out _Billy's _just doesn't serve drinks to underage teenagers but they also make the best hamburgers in town.

"Okay I'm going to leave you two kids to enjoy your silly banter before I drown from the cuteness," Will says

Will is the guy who teased me that morning I woke up here and despite the fact that he seems scary and dangerous he's actually really funny. I guess I should say that I wasn't very surprised when Damon informed me that he too was a vampire. Apparently they had met in the early sixties-crazy, right?- and they had been friends since.

I bet you really think I'm crazy now, huh? Hanging out with two vampires under the same roof… But I figured that if they were going to hurt me they would have done so a long time ago. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself.

"I thought vampires only had to drink blood," I ask while trying to ignore the images that pop into my head of him drinking out of his victim's throats

Luckily I haven't had to see that again, I've seen Damon feed way too many times now.

"Elena, if I'm not mistaken you didn't even know vampires existed before you met me," Damon retorts and I feel myself getting annoyed. I once made the mistake of comparing him to the vampires that I had read in this fictional book and ever since Damon has mocked me for any vampire related question.

Damon seems to sense my irritation because he answers honestly this time, "we can eat any food as long as we have blood in our system every couple of days"

I nod in response before turning my attention back to my food. A silence settles over us and Damon mutters something about being right back before he stands up from the booth and leaves me with the two almost-empty plates

I busy myself by taking in my surroundings; the place looks so much different compared to when night hits. I'm actually not sure which I prefer. During the day I can actually see without the dimming lights though the place looks so unkempt with its dusty tables and stage. But then at night, though it gets suffocating there's a certain aroma to the place that just draws you in.

I don't know how much time passes before Damon remerges from what I assume is a small office with Will trailing behind him. I hastily stand up from my seat when I notice that Damon is holding his leather jacket. Is he leaving?

"You're leaving," I don't exactly ask and I feel my stomach drop when Damon doesn't make eye contact with me

"Yeah, I have a small errand to run," he states indifferently but then adds; "You should call your friend Blondie and tell her to pick you up. Will has a phone in his office"

What? I ask myself but on the outside nod my head in agreement. Will gestures to his office no doubt having been eavesdropping on our conversation and I surprisingly find myself not only feeling anger towards Damon but also for Will. They're practically kicking me out!

Well at least they haven't bitten your head off my subconscious snarls.

I glance one last time at Damon who's now on his way to the door before following after the other vampire

"Press this number first," Will says while gesturing to the number 5 on the very old phone.

I wait until he leaves his office before walking towards the phone but not before taking a look around the small room. Like the bar it looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a while and there's a bunch of files and papers on his desk. What would a bar manager need these many papers for?

I consider snooping around but stop myself at the image of the consequences if I were to get caught. I really don't want to get on their bad side.

I type the number Will told me first before dialing Caroline's house number, good thing I had memorized it a long time ago.

Care picks up on the third ring and I feel myself grin at her excitement when she realizes that it's me and just as I'm about to ask her to come and pick me up I remember how Damon suggested that I'd leave, with such carelessness so my mouth speaks before I fully process the thought and I tell Caroline to come and join me at _Billy's. _

"So you've been coming to this bar a lot," Care states casually but her questioning gaze tells me she's fishing for information

"What do you mean," I decide to play dumb

"Elena Gilbert! Are you seeing someone?"

I'm about to give her my coy/playful smile when I freeze at her question.

Am I seeing someone?

Okay now I've really gone insane. Am I seriously considering being in a somewhat romantic relationship with a freaking vampire?

I belong in a mental ward.

"You know what? I'm not even going to ask, for now. But I promise you, I will find out," my best friend points her finger at me before abruptly turning around and heading to the bar in search of another drink.

Hours pass and I still haven't seen Damon or Will though that may be due to my completely intoxicated state. I don't think I've ever been this drunk before honestly.

"Here babe," a guy with a really deep voice hands me another shot and I don't question him before drowning the burning liquid

Caroline and I found ourselves a group of college guys who were apparently having a guy's night out and after some dancing asked us out for a drink. I would have normally declined but they seemed nice enough plus we were getting free booze and the idea really made sense at the moment.

"So you're a senior, right" the guy who had previously handed me the drink asks while innocently running his hand down my arm

"Mmhmm," I mumble not taking my eyes off my best friend who's currently dancing with one of the other college guys

"You wanna dance" Okay this guy obviously doesn't know how to take a hint

I'm about to give him a piece of my mind when I suddenly make eye contact with Damon who's standing across the half-lit room

"I'll be right back," I abruptly leave the guy mid-sentence and follow where I last saw Damon but when I walk towards where he was standing not seconds ago he's already not there

I see a flash of a black leather jacket and like a dog with a bone I follow it but instantly wish I hadn't when I'm met with the sight of Damon whispering something into a blonde's ear. It's not that I'm jealous, I'm not; I'm irritated I tell myself because he purposefully went looking for me so that I would once again have to watch him feed on another helpless girl.

And my suspicion is proven correct when he starts feeding on the girl all the while maintaining eye contact with me. Oh how I wish I could slap that smirk off his face!

I consider walking over to him but then stop myself just as I'm about to take my first step, I would be giving him exactly what he wants and frankly I wouldn't even know what to do if I confront him. So I stay in my spot and like a moth to a flame maintain eye contact with the blue-eyed man across the room.

I can tell that he's confused by my actions because he raises his perfectly shaped eyebrow at me before letting go of the girls neck and stepping a couple of feet back. The girl, like a baby crying for its momma raises her hands in his direction as if reaching for him but Damon just mumbles something I can't make out now no longer making eye contact with me but with the girl. It takes me a few seconds before I realize that he just compelled the girl- right in front of my eyes and much to my anger I'm not running in the opposite direction but rather looking at Damon even more curiously as he gestures with his head to follow him. I don't even give it a second thought as my feet follow his steps upstairs. Though I've been up here more than once I still find myself shivering as I enter the dark hallway and much to my confusion we don't make a right turn like I remember making that morning when I left here in a rush, no he continues walking until he reaches a door at the end of the hall which surprisingly leads up to a roof.

The stairs are circular and kind of narrow and I immediately feel myself sobering up a bit as the fresh wind hits all of my senses. There isn't much to this hideout, the stairs seem kind of rusty and there's a small table right in the middle with two chairs making it seem like it's visited very often. Since _Billy's _is only a second-floor building the other buildings surrounding it tower over it but even I have to admit it looks pretty nice with all of the New York city lights illuminating the small tiny roof.

Damon instantly goes to the edge of the roof and situates himself on it but doesn't even bother to acknowledge me.

What the hell?

"I thought I told you to leave," he finally looks at me and I feel like slapping the shit out of him at the expression he gives me and I especially hate that I immediately assume that I did something wrong.

Wait… did I? No I didn't and why am I even acting so worried about this?

"And I thought we were over the whole me seeing you feed thing," I hiss right back and I can tell Damon is surprised by my tone because his impossibly blue eyes widen before a smirk settles over his lips

"Why? Jealous," he questions me as he lifts himself from the edge and walks the short distance between us before settling himself right in front of me

"Of course not," I scoff and take a couple of steps back but Damon just follows me, invading each and every of my senses, " Why would I be jealous of a poor girl who unfortunately fell for your ridiculous charm and had no choice but to let you drain the life out of her"

If possible Damon walks even closer to me after my response so that now we're nearly touching noses, "Oh but I think the girl would beg to differ, sweetheart"

My angry thoughts are frozen for a moment and I'm sure I look like a fish out of water as I consider his words, is it possible that the girl actually enjoyed getting bitten? I find myself getting even more convinced as I briefly remember that time I found him feeding on another girl in the stairs.

"You mean to tell me that a bite from a vampire is supposed to be pleasurable" I can actually see his eyes darken at my words despite it being so dark out and instead of going back downstairs like I should, I straighten my shoulders and lift my head up. Now I've always been pretty tall and I'm especially taller now since I'm wearing these really cute boots that have a heel at the back so when I lift my head up that just makes our noses rub against each other and our foreheads slightly touch.

"It can be," he hesitantly raises his hand and tucks one of my loose hairs due to the wind, "I can make it as enjoyable as I want, Elena"

Agh why does he have to say my name like that I silently groan and the worst part is that he does it every time he greets me. It's never a 'hello' or a simple 'hey' it's always a 'hello Elena' or just 'Elena' with that deep, sultry, velvety voice of his. Damn him! And every single time I find myself staring at him even longer than the last time or feeling this warmth spread through me that I can't seem to control or understand.

He moves his hand from my hair –which is in a very high ponytail- and settles it on my neck but the bastard doesn't stop there; no he lowers his eyes to make eye contact with me before asking, "Would you like to try it, Elena"

I can literally hear myself gulp and I'm sure he can too considering his vampire hearing but I don't give him an exact response but rather answer with a really pathetic 'what'

"Don't you want to know how it feels to be bitten? Don't you want to experience that feeling of having my teeth inside you?"

I can feel myself getting riled up as he teases me and I have the word 'NO' on the tip of my tongue but rather find myself asking him if it will hurt.

Damon smiles at my question but doesn't answer me as he moves forward while maintaining eye contact with me and rubs his nose against my neck and to my surprise he actually inhales my scent in. I don't know where to place my hands as I've clenched and unclenched my hands over ten times in the last two seconds while Damon has decided to place one hand on the side of my hip and the other is gently holding my face. He seems so comfortable while I'm a half tipsy, confused and nervous wreck.

Damon stops rubbing the side of my hip and I can sense him opening his mouth which is now against my neck so I close my eyes, still not sure if I really want to go through with this while a really big part of me just really wants to see what it's like.

'He's going to bite you! Of course it's going to hurt!' my subconscious hisses at me but I calm myself as I remind myself once again that Damon has had plenty of chances to hurt me yet he hasn't even come close to hurting a hair on my head.

His lips are shockingly soft against my neck and his warm breath leaves goose bumps as he widens his lips but much to my shock I don't feel any pain or any sharp teeth pressing against my tender neck but rather his really soft lips leaving a gentle kiss right on the center of my neck. I feel his hands tighten around my waist for a moment before he releases me, leaving me feeling all cold now as the wind continues to hit my face which he had currently been blocking and the spot where he left a kiss burning me.

"You're right. I'm no good," he whispers before smiling bitterly and turning back to face the other buildings, "You should go Elena"

Much to my confusion I feel disappointment rush through me at the fact that he didn't bite me and I feel even more bewildered at his sudden mood change.

"Go!" he half-shouts and I flinch back but not before noticing his tense shoulders and clenched hands.

Except this time, unlike earlier I actually listen and leave him standing alone in the cold, windy rooftop.

* * *

***End of flashback***

"Ahh it's definitely exhilarating," I answer Caroline, not really giving much away much to the blonde's disappointment but I really don't think she'd want the full on out detail on how it feels to feed.

"Hmmm," she answers absentmindedly and I actually see her putting herself together before she decides on something, "So I know we've been meeting up at this coffee shop everyday now but since Nick is out of town for the next few days I was actually wondering if you wanted to come for dinner tonight?"

I'm surprised by her offer since we had been meeting at neutral ground for a couple of days now but I also feel this warm feeling spreading through me at the thought that she wants to share this other side of her life with me even if I won't be meeting her husband. And I'm actually not offended by her choice of date; I too would be hesitant about bringing a vampire to not only my home but also to meet someone really important to me.

And I know that I would never lose my control in front of her and other people since I actually have my bloodlust quite under control but it never hurts to be extra cautious.

"Yes, totally, of course," I answer excitedly and for the first time in a while I feel like an excited teenager, for the first time I actually feel like I have something to look forward to.

"Great! I'll text you the address," Care replies excitedly before standing up and grabbing her purse, " I uhh have to go and run some errands really quickly but I'll see you at eight?"

I nod my head in response before waving my goodbye and standing up so I can go back to the hotel and get ready.

The hotel I've been staying at is actually pretty decent considering that Mystic Falls is such a small town though there aren't many people occupying the hotel or the streets really which is why I'm surprised when I hear screaming just as I'm about to leave the hotel and catch a taxi. The shouting is coming from a girl and it sounds like she's in danger so using my vampire senses I'm able to follow the sound and I feel disgust roll through me and nostalgia too when I spot a girl forced against a wall by a man.

The man seems to be homeless since his shirt and pants are all wrinkled and ripped but the poor girl being pinned against the wall can't possibly be any older than sixteen and silent tears are running down her face as she tries to get the vile man off her. They still haven't noticed me and I don't give it a second thought before ripping the man off of the girl and plunging my teeth into his neck. Except all I feel is disgust as I hungrily drink his blood because I don't want his repulsive blood to be running through my veins but I haven't fed in days and this man does not deserve to live.

So I suck him dry until there's no more blood running through him and the man lies limp against my arms before I carelessly let him drop to the floor. For a moment I forget about the whimpering girl until I sense that she's no longer in the half-dark alley until I spot her half way across the street so I flash towards her and she seems to become even more frightened at the sight of me, the poor girl will probably die of a heart attack if she doesn't calm down.

"You're going to forget about this. You're going to forget about that man and what he tried to do and you're going to forget about me. And for the love of god don't walk the streets alone at night anymore," I compel her and just as I finish my words I can sense her heart beat calming back down and a confused expression settling over her pretty face. I leave before she can ask me what happened but not before glancing at her one more time to make sure that she's okay.

Oh crap I groan to myself as I realize that half of my dress is stained with blood. Seriously? Now I have to go back to the hotel and change because I'm sure Caroline will not appreciate seeing me half covered in blood and I was already late before this whole incident so I'm sure she'll be even more pissed. Though I am glad that I took so long in getting ready because if I hadn't than I would have missed the girls shouting and the girl would have possibly ended up getting raped and killed so at least one good thing came out of me taking so long to choose an outfit.

That's definitely one of the perks of being a vampire. Since vampires possess all of these abilities no one can really take advantage of you and you can do all of these cool stuff. Of course I really did hate the thought of having to hurt others to survive, I despised the idea of having that advantage over others but I guess I've just gotten used to it over the years and it's not like I could go back.

I go back to the hotel and change quickly into a shirt and light blue jeans this time before heading over to Care's house. She lives in one of those communities that are your typical white-fenced home and every house looks the same except for the color and there's a garden on the side as well as a really long driveway which only has one car parked at the moment.

I thank the driver and hand him a few bills before hesitantly moving up the driveway steps and knocking on the door, the doorbell resonating all around the house.

Care answers with a huge smile and tells me to come in which I'm thankful for because I'm sure things would have gotten hella awkward if I wouldn't have been able to walk into her home without her insinuating to come in.

Yup, that's actually another disadvantage of being a vampire –at least for the vampire, it's actually a perk for the human- vampires can't go inside someone else's property unless the owner invites them in.

I'm given a tour of the house, which consists of three bedrooms and two bathrooms. I'm surprised by the third bedroom because it's actually a nursery which just further emphasized how much Caroline is trying to get pregnant. My best friend –yes she's still my best friend despite us not talking for almost twenty years but I was never able to form a relationship remotely close to the one I shared with her; Caroline is my soul sister- made my favorite dish, pasta Alfredo, and I practically devoured it in twenty seconds flat.

"So I know that you don't want to talk about it, to talk about him," Caroline starts, "But the silence about what happened is killing me and you know how I am about secrets"  
"There's nothing to tell Caroline," I cut her off and silently add to myself 'at least not anymore'

"What the hell are you talking about Elena? You were head over heels in love with him, in love with a vampire," her voice quiets down at the end as if she's afraid to offend me

"Yeah well newsflash Caroline! I'm a vampire! I have been for several years now," I can tell Caroline is getting annoyed by my avoidance of the topic so I **make** myself continue, "There's nothing to tell because I lost him, okay? He's dead."

Care's gasp seems to echo all around the house and a part of me feels like shutting down when she stares at me with pity in her eyes while another part just wants to start from the beginning and tell her everything.

"As you already know I met him in _Billy's _and he saved me that night from what could have been a terrible experience and after that we just kind of clicked. We started hanging out more and soon we just developed into something more. I found out he was a vampire the first night I met him and he actually compelled me not to tell anyone about what he was. He never hurt me and though he seemed like a real ass on the outside from what you briefly saw, once you got to know him he was amazing. His persona was consuming, demanding attention and well just overwhelming. But whenever I was with him I felt complete, you know? Like everything was going to be okay as long as I was with him. At first we only saw each other at _Billy's _but then we started meeting outside of it and soon we were together every hour of the day. I wanted you to get to know him, to get to know the real him but as you already know that never happened," I stop talking to take a much needed breath and once I open my eyes – I had had them closed for most of my speech- I feel like laughing at Care's expression, she's wearing one of those expressions girls get when they're watching a really good romance movie and they want to hold onto every word the characters exchange.

"After you left things were a bit rusty and than they were okay until the worst day of my life occurred. Sounds dramatic I know but that was the day Damon found out something that had been haunting him for the past few years and he wasn't going to make the same mistake again so him being the selfless idiot that he was got himself killed. That was also the night that I died and turned into a vampire," I finally get the words out but this time I'm not closing my eyes, I'm just blankly staring at the white wall as I recall one of the worst nights of my life, " I couldn't believe it at first, I couldn't believe that he was gone . We were supposed to be together forever, we were supposed to have an eternity together and then one day he was just gone."

"You don't know how many times I've thought of just giving up; after all I had no one. You had left and Jeremy didn't want to see me anymore. I was a newborn vampire and had to learn how to control my bloodlust by myself but I pulled through because I knew **he **would have done the same thing,** he** never would have given up." And as soon as that one silent tear reaches the edge of my chin, two more roll down followed by five and soon I'm a sobbing mess

"It's okay Elena, you're going to be okay," my best friend wraps her warm arms around me but I don't feel the warmth of her hug, all I feel is the cold and hollowness that has been following me for the past nineteen years.

* * *

**A/N: So a lot happened this chapter: in the present, Elena revealed to Caroline a couple of very important things. In the flashbacks, a couple of days have passed since the last chapter and Damon and Elena have started getting closer though that's kind of brought to a halt after Damon pushes her away. Thoughts? Concerns? Comments? Just leave them below in this very pretty box... **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

**I want to know what love is**

* * *

**A/N: Wow has it really been that long? My final exams are finally over and school is about to end in a couple of weeks so I will hopefully have more time to write now. Hope you're all doing well and that you haven't given up on this story. Don't forget to leave a review at the end of this chapter to let me know what you think :)**

**On the previous chapter: in the present, Elena revealed to Caroline how she got to know Damon. In the flashbacks, the chapter ended with Damon pushing Elena away so we'll see how he tries to fix his mistake in this chapter.**

* * *

"You've been avoiding me" A shiver runs down my spine as the voice that I've been avoiding for the past week reaches my ears.

Oh god no. How did he even find me?

"What? N-no I haven't, I just got tired of that boring old bar," I vaguely answer but I don't bother turning around to face the blue-eyed vampire. Nope, like the coward that I am, I continue to're-read' the description of the record that I'm currently holding despite already knowing word for word what the back says. It is after all one of my favorite singers.

"So you got bored of me," Damon states and I'm really surprised by his vulnerable tone, I don't think I've ever heard him sound so hurt or so sincere. He's usually always hiding his true self behind that cocky and sarcastic face of his.

"Of course not," I turn around to face him and I have to blink a couple of times just to make sure that he's actually there. After being so used to seeing him every other day and then not seeing him for so many days I had almost forgotten how he looked. Almost.

Oh who am I kidding? I could never forget his pretty blue eyes or how his leather jacket fits him perfectly, not to mention the way that he instantly attracts attention when he enters the room. I can actually feel some of the girl's eyes on us- specifically on Damon- as they 'try' to discretely whisper to each other and stifle their giggles.

Well guess what girls?

He's **mine.**

Okay what the hell am I saying? He's most certainly not mine, nor do I want him to be. First of all, he's a vampire, an asshole, moody, and a freaking vampire for god's sake!

"Go out with me tonight," Damon stops my silent reverie and it takes me a moment to process what he just said

"No," I huff out and roughly put the CD back down before making my way out of the store

"Why not," he asks and I'm surprised by his persistence on following me, he even seems amused.

I look at his face and that small twinkle in his eyes and the small smirk he's wearing proves my suspicion. He is most definitely amused by my rejection.

"How did you find me," I decide to answer him with a question, even though I really am curious as to how he found me here; it's not even near _Billy's._

"Come on I know you've missed me Elena," shivers run down my spine at his taunting, "We don't even have to go the bar if you don't want to. We can go out to dinner and then to this concert they're having in central park and then I'll take you home like the good boy I am. I promise."

"Agh if I agree will you please stop following me around like the crazy-ass vampire stalker you are"

"Deal," he states smugly and I gasp when he flashes me a fanged smile

"DAMON," I squeak before looking around at my surroundings, but no one seems to notice the boy in front of me, everyone's too busy and engrossed by their own problems.

***end of flashback***

"Good morning sweetie," Care greets me cheerfully before handing me a cup of hot coffee

After my mini-breakdown last night Care told me that I was in no condition to go back to my hotel so she insisted that I stay in the guest bedroom and just sleep things off.

"I wasn't sure how you preferred your coffee but I noticed you've been drinking it black now which is just disgusting but hey-" I stop paying attention to her words when I hear the news

"Man found dead near 112 Collins Avenue, investigators are still trying to find out how he died but rumors say it might have been an animal attack judging by the bite marks on the side of his neck…"

Oh god.

How could I have been so stupid? I left the man stranded in an alleyway –not that he didn't deserve it- but how could I have been so careless? I'm always so careful when I feed, always making sure not to take too much and to compel them afterwards.

"Elena," the blonde is confused by my abrupt behavior but I can literally feel when she freezes as she reads the headline on the TV: 'Man found dead after allegedly being attacked by an animal'

"Oh god… Did you do that," she questions me and I frown when I notice her taking a couple of steps back

"I… uhh… he was going to hurt this girl and I couldn't let him so I guess I must have been so angry that I just lost control," I ramble off hoping she'll understand, "Caroline I-"

"I think you should go," my explanation is stopped when she says these words, "I really need time to think this through Elena"

"Oh umm… okay," I resign as I slowly take a few steps back to reach her front door

"And by go I don't mean leave my house. I mean I think its best you go back to New York," Care states and I would normally get mad at the way she's dismissing me but at the same time I understand her sudden reaction. I probably would have reacted the same way if I was in her shoes.

I reach the door and stand in front of it for a moment, my hand holding the knob contemplating whether I should say goodbye but Care beats me to it when she says "I'll call you soon" and a small part of me is left wondering whether she really means it or not.

***flashback to date***

"You look nice," my dad compliments me as I make my way downstairs. I don't think I've ever taken so long to get ready which was silly because I'm pretty sure Damon wouldn't even care if I showed up wearing a sack of potatoes. And even though this isn't an actual "date" I still wanted to look nice, if not for him than for myself.

"Thanks," I mumble. I'm too distracted by the current butterflies in my stomach. Those little suckers, flapping around and making me even more nervous than I already am.

"Are you going out with Caroline again? You sure have been going out a lot recently," my dad tries to hold a conversation with me while stirring whatever he's cooking and for once I'm grateful that I don't have one of those overbearing dads, "You seem nervous. What's wrong?"

His question makes my Damon-induced thoughts stop for a moment and that's when I get a clear look at my dad. He seems tired and probably got home not too long ago considering his white lab coat is lying on one of the chairs in the dining room plus he has a bunch of papers scattered around the table. That's weird. He's always so secretive about his work and whenever he brings any papers home he always chooses to read them in his office.

"Yeah of course. I was just thinking about whether I should wear this dress or not," I say something girly, "And yes, Care and I are going to this concert so don't wait up for me"

I know it's wrong of me to lie to my dad about where I'm going and especially who I'm going with to said location but I don't think my dad would appreciate it if I mentioned that I was going out with a guy tonight. And he would certainly be stricter about my curfew too. I mean last time I brought Mason home because I was attending a dance with him my dad was such an ass to him and I really can't imagine Damon tolerating my dad. Which is why I told Damon not to pick me up and that instead I would meet him up at the restaurant. It also makes things less official.

"Well here have some hot chocolate," my dad offers me as he holds a cup filled with marshmallows and delicious hot cocoa, "it'll calm you down"

I carefully take the mug from him and can't help but to let flashes of us- Jeremy, mom, dad and me- drinking hot chocolate every Christmas morning and right before we would leave for school when snow hit the city. My mom was actually the one who usually made the delicious liquid which is why I can't help but cringe and smile at his effort when I taste it. It doesn't taste bad but there's certainly a weird taste to it.

"Maybe you should stick to the hospital and just leave the food to me," I tease him but take a few sips more before setting down the mug and grabbing my bag.

"Bye," I call out, but I'm already half-way through the door and breathing in the cold NY air so I can't hear whether he replies or not.

He most likely thought I was hitching a ride with Caroline but since I haven't informed her of tonight for reasons – one, I wanted to keep **this **between Damon and I and two I don't even know what **this** is- so I'm going to have to figure out how to get to the restaurant by myself. And that is the exact reason for why I called Tyler Lockwood earlier today after I got home from my encounter with Damon and asked him if he could give me a ride to the restaurant. He doesn't necessarily know the details, all I told him was that I was going to a dinner with a friend, a guy friend, and didn't want Care to make a big deal out of it so that's why I hadn't told her. He was hesitant about not telling our dear blonde friend that he was giving me a ride but he eventually agreed.

And that's how I found myself getting out of his car twenty minutes later. He had insisted on walking me all the way to the entrance but I declined. First of all, what if someone that we know saw us? They would certainly think the wrong thing and I figured that Damon would probably get upset if he saw that Tyler gave me a ride here right after I declined his offer.

The place to eat that Damon chose looks really nice and I've never eaten here but I have heard of it at school. It's very simple yet beautiful and I find my mood lifting up as I notice the colorful lights that adorn the outside though it quickly decline when I note that Damon isn't here. We were supposed to meet up at the entrance.

What if he doesn't show up? What am I going to do then?

I'm about to walk inside the diner to see if he's inside when I feel goose bumps forming at the back of my spine. And I instantly know that he's here because I've only been getting those chills whenever I'm near him or he does something that gives me those stupid butterflies. I slowly turn around and stifle a smile when I find myself face to face with Damon. I hate it when he does that.

"Elena, Wow. You look beautiful," the blue-eyed vampire compliments me and I feel myself blushing as his gaze runs down my body.

I'm wearing this black and white polka-dot dress that's kind of puffy towards the bottom with a mini black leather jacket which really makes me look girly but when paired with my favorite combat boots I like to think it gives me an edge. Plus I'm also wearing these purple lace fingerless gloves that my best friend got for me last Christmas and all of this paired with my very curly hair –I spent hours on it- gives me a sense of confidence.

"Thanks," I smile at him," we kind of match." He like usual is wearing black completely but hey I'm not complaining. His eyes couldn't make more of a contraction with his dark hair and dark-colored clothes than like how they're doing now.

"Shall we go inside," he gestures towards the door where a couple just entered and I'm surprised when he grabs my hand and leads me inside.

His hand is so warm and I still can't believe he's voluntarily holding my hand. Not that I've ever wanted him to hold my hand before. Totally not. But I can't help but think how perfectly his hand engulfs mine and just how complete I feel as I walk alongside him.

He states his last name when we reach the receptionist and I secretly smile at the fact that Salvatore means savior. A couple of days after he told me his last name I decided to go do some research on him so I went to one of my favorite places in the city –the library- and found out that he's actually Italian.

The strawberry-blonde waitress leads us down the corridor to the center of the restaurant, menus in hand and Damon and I follow a couple of steps behind her.

"I hope you're not planning on feeding on her tonight," I tease Damon after the waitress leaves us. Our table thankfully is in a little corner but it's still not so secluded that you can't hear the quiet chatter and laughter from the other customers.

"What," I can tell Damon is startled by my initiation at a conversation but I was getting worried with his silence. He had been weirdly quiet since we came inside the restaurant.

He even seemed nervous.

"Are you okay," I give the man in front of me a what I hope is a comforting smile

Damon takes a sip of his water before answering, "Yeah of course…Why wouldn't I be?" Okay Damon is certainly acting strange, he's usually always so confident and cocky, "would you believe me if I told you that this is the first date I've ever gone on?" Damon quickly reveals and almost as if he's realized what he just said, he takes another sip of his water, " I'm definitely going to need something stronger than this" As if on cue, the waitress who is called Sheila appears and Damon orders a bourbon before asking me if I want anything which I quickly decline. I definitely want to have a clear head tonight.

"What do you mean this your first date," I stupidly ask but I'm currently having a hard time believing what Damon just told me. This is Damon for god's sake. A vampire who's been alive for decades now and has had more girls than I'd like to ever admit.

"Just because I've fucked other girls doesn't mean that I've taken them on dinners and dates Elena," I gasp at his boldness and shyly look at my surroundings to see if anybody heard. Luckily everyone is too involved in their own dinner.

"Oh," I mumble but I can't help myself in continuing my line of questions, "Then what are you doing tonight? Taking me on this date? You do realize that I'm never going to-"

"I figured that if I wanted to keep seeing you, I'd have to make an effort," Damon cuts me off and I try to not let my heart jump out of its cage at Damon's words. _He wants to keep on seeing me. He's trying. _Trying to do what I have no idea but it's not like anything can happen between us I tell myself. It's already bad enough that I'm trying to be friends with the supernatural; I also don't need to make** this** into anything more.

"How many dates have you been on Elena," Damon jokingly asks me but I can tell that he's actually curious about my response when he stops swirling the little plastic straw that his bourbon glass brings.

"A couple," I vaguely respond and it is true. Though I've never really been on a serious relationship, there have been two or three guys in my life.

"How many is a couple exactly…" Damon fishes for details but we're once again interrupted by Sheila who has come to take our orders.

"Let's play a little game," Damon states after our desert is placed right in the middle of our table. We decided to have the chicken parmesan fettuccine which in my opinion was delicious but Damon of course claimed he had tasted better. In fact he even bragged about his cooking skills which I called him out on which resulted to him promising me that one day he would make me the most amazing pasta plate that I had ever tasted. I of course rolled my eyes at this.

"Okay what game," I decide to go along because I'm too distracted by the beautiful chocolate cake sitting right in front of me.

"It's a question game. I ask you a question, you answer and then you ask me a question in return. The only rule is that you have to answer honestly and you can't skip a question either," Damon explains the rules of the game but when he notices my confused gaze he continues, "Here I'll start off... What's your favorite book?"

I consider his question for a while but it's almost as if I've forgotten every book I've ever read, my mind just comes up empty so I decide to describe the most recent book that I read. And much to my shock Damon actually listens as I babble on about the fictional characters in the book and how the author left the book at a cliffhanger which totally made me regret reading it in the first place.

"Hmm is that why you have trust issues," Damon teases me before softly grabbing the spoon from my right hand and taking a small piece of the Chocolate cake.

"Hey!" I exclaim before snatching the spoon right off his fingers, "First of all, I do not have trust issues. Secondly, you already asked a question so it's my turn. And third, no one takes a bite of my desert except for me!"

"Someone doesn't like to share," Damon rolls his eyes which makes me giggle like a school girl and then causes him to do that eye-thing that he does. The bastard!  
"Hmm... so my turn to ask a question," I pause for dramatic effect but really I have no idea what to ask him, "What has been your favorite decade to live in so far"

Unlike me Damon answers instantly, "Definitely the roaring 20's! That was a really fun time, well before the whole economy turned to shit"

"Must have been nice to be able to live in all of these different decades," I exclaim excitedly

"Yeah," he clears his throat

"I mean, it's amazing how you've had the opportunity to experience these different eras and cultures. You've probably traveled so much already, met so many different people and-" I stop rambling once I notice the uncomfortable expression he's wearing due to the route our conversation has taken, "I'm sorry"

Damon's gaze turns soft at my apology, "it's okay, it's just that it hasn't always been all rainbows and sunshine's"

We continue our game after that but no serious topics are brought up and a small part of me is actually glad about that because it means that Damon's mood stays lively though I can't help but notice how he barely reveals much about himself and his past.

"Tickets," the bouncer gruffly asks for once we reach the front of the line. After we finished up dinner at the restaurant, Damon reminded me of the tickets that he had for tonight- I guess I had been so entertained by our questioning game that I forgot about everything else. Anyways, we took his –surprisingly- blue Camaro to Central Park and after waiting in line for a couple of minutes, we've finally reached the front of the line.

Damon reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his brown-leather wallet before pulling out a pair of neatly folded tickets, the tattooed- bouncer nods in acceptance and we pass through. I feel myself slightly getting overwhelmed by the huge amount of people and the music blasting through the speakers and as if Damon notices he briefly looks back over at me before extending his hand to grab mine.

I feel myself become less anxious now that I know that I won't get lost or trampled in this huge crowd, Damon leads me to the front row and people notably part to the side making things much easier.

The band soon starts playing and although I've never heard any of the songs before I find myself singing along to the parts in the chorus while Damon bobs his head down and forth to the beat of the music.

"They're great," I yell after a couple of rounds

"They're alright," Damon yells right back

I smile at him before looking at my surroundings and everyone seems to be as in tune to the music as I was a few seconds before.

"Alright, we're going to take a break but this song is for all of the couples," the lead singer talks into the mic as 'I want to know what love is' by the Foreigner starts playing. I look at the crowd awkwardly and start feeling nervous at the prospect of being in Damon's arms, so close to him when I feel him grab my arm and spin me to face him.

"Elena, will you dance with me," he wiggles his eyebrows at me and I laugh in response and link my fingers with his.

_I gotta take a little time_

_A little time to think things over_

_I better read between the lines, _

"Are you nervous," the blue-eyed man asks me

"Shut up," I teasingly decline and he spins me around

_In my life there's been heartache and pain_

_I don't know if I can face it again_

_Can't stop now_

"Don't worry I am too," I'm shocked by his honest response and Damon seems to be too but he doesn't break his eye contact with me and neither do I.

We don't dance for the rest of the song, at least not really. We just take slow steps to the side and forward while remaining as close as possible, our eyes seeming to stare into each other's soul. And in that moment a horrifying revelation is made to me.

I'm falling for him. I'm falling for Damon Salvatore. Damon Salvatore who I have tried to stay away from but have been unable to. Damon Salvatore who seems like a heartless killer once his fangs are unveiled. Damon Salvatore who seduces women and gets what he wants from them before throwing them away like trash. Damon Salvatore who likes to hide his pain behind a smirk, who has saved me countless of times both physically and emotionally. He has been the highlight of my summer and I don't know where and who I would be if I hadn't had met him that night.

_I wanna know what love is,_

_I want you to show me_

_I wanna feel what love is_

"I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you," I state once we reach my house. We stayed until the end of the concert and because of that had to endure the traffic of people leaving as well, luckily once we hit the road for the suburbs there was barely any cars and I was able to direct Damon to my house.

"Yeah me too," Damon genuinely smiles at me and I actually find myself leaning towards him as I stare into his very blue eyes, "Elena"

"Yes," I question, a breath away from his lips

"I-" I don't let him finish because I connect my lips with his. Damon who seemed hesitant before instantly kisses me back and I hungrily taste the sweetness of his lips, they taste like mint and chocolate which I'm sure is from the dessert we had earlier.

I hadn't planned on the kiss moving any further, actually I hadn't really planned on kissing him tonight at all but life has a way of working that way. Damon gently runs his hand through my curls before he roughly pulls on one to bring me over, I voluntarily climb over to his seat and settle myself on his lap, opening my mouth to continue our kiss. He moves his hands to my face and cups my cheeks while I settle mine on the lapels of his jacket.

"Elena," he mumbles, "We need to stop."

He, however, contradicts his words when he once again moves his hands to my hips and pulls on them to bring me closer. I can hear both of our breathings pick up at this and feel shivers run through me when he slides his tongue with mine. I shiver as he slides his hands down my arms before connecting our hands and feel my eyes roll through their sockets when he moves his lips to my chin and neck.

"God, you're so beautiful," I open my previously closed eyes and feel myself audibly swallow at the sight of his dilated pupils; Damon stares at me in wonder before pecking my lips once, twice before letting me go and breathing deeply through his nose despite not having the actual necessity to.

"Thank you for tonight Damon," I tell him and move to kiss him one last time before moving off his lap and onto my seat to grab my purse.

"Goodnight Damon," I whisper after realizing that my dad is home and could possibly be watching through the window, Damon doesn't reply back but sends me one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen.

I pull my sweater around me- which had been falling due to our previous tryst- once the wind hits me and look one last time towards his direction before I unlock my house door and hear him drive off into the night.


End file.
